too bad you live with your parents still
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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