i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
