Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
