oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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