K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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