Are we in a gay sports bar?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
