...so i touched it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
