Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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