That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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