Im at strip club and am horny
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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