I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
