I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
