where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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