just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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