One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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