Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize