I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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