i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have already put on my inside pants.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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