Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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