She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
