Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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