She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
