Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
