me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
