We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
