we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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