hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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