allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
