ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
