i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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