Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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