To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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