I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
