Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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