Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
