Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize