Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
