I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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