i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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