yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
