i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
