I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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