Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
