There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
