My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
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