the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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