I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize