Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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