I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
