just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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