Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
