Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
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Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
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You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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