I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
