I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
